1969
by Genne
Summary: Norway, Martha is working as a shop girl while the Doctor tries to find out the best place for the Tardis to land. A familiar area name pops up and brings a wave of memories with it...
1. A map of the mind

**Dis****claimer: The BBC called and sued me for my last claim of everything (including the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver) but they said that I could still keep Ctp. Jack's left buttock! But seriously, I have used some direct lines from Billie Pipers book 'Growing Pains' in her references to Rose. And I used the term 'Living a life' as indication to a fic that I'm enjoying called 'Living a life' by moonbean **

The Doctor and Martha waited in silence while poor Billy tried to process the information he'd just been given. Martha checked her watch and cleared her throat.

"Um, Doctor?" He looked up from Billy's face. "Yeah?"

"I need to go to work. I'll be late." She said awkwardly. The Doctor nodded quietly. "Have a good day."

She smiled and looked at Billy. "Yeh, you too." She then turned and left.

Once she had disappeared around the corner Billy looked at the Doctor. "So, what's the message?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said that I have to give Sally a message. Well, what's the message?"

"Oh… right. Um, let's walk, shall we?" The Doctor bounced up and helped Billy up off the ground. He wobbled a bit but steadied himself quickly. "You all right?" the Doctor asked, an eyebrow raised.

Billy nodded and began to walk out of the tunnel, The Doctor beside him. "Look at the list."

Billy looked at him, confused. "Sorry?"

"Tell Sally to look at the list. She should have it by now, a list of seventeen DVD's."

"What's special about these DVD's?" Billy asked, not looking at the Doctor. The Doctor stopped and dug into his pockets. He pulled out a video tape and handed it to Billy. "This."

If the Doctor continued to talk like this, Billy was sure that he'd hit him. "How did you fit this into you're pocket? No never mind, I don't care. But what does this have to do with the DVD's? With Sally? With anything, for that matter!"

The Doctor sighed. "Billy, you're stuck here. In 1969, you have no way of getting back. What are you going to with yourself now?"

Billy looked sick but was clearly trying to control himself. He'd been trained to stay calm in a crisis… if this qualified as a crisis. He breathed. "I have to start a new life for myself? Here, in Norway, in 1969?"

The Doctor nodded solemnly. Billy's hand tightened on the video tape and he continued to walk. "I'm sorry Billy." The Doctor said, catching up with him. "But you'll be all right, I can guarantee it."

Billy looked doubtful and shook his head. "I'm not going to be able to join the police in this time, am I?"

"Oooh, you're a police man, eh? That's nice. But, no, I don't think so, no."

Billy nodded. "Well, what do you suggest?"

"Do you like movies, Billy?"

"I'm ok with them, why?"

"Well, this is going to sound a bit confusing but—"

Billy snorted. The Doctor continued as though he hadn't heard.

"But, on that tape I gave you I have a message. A message for Sally Sparrow and I need to make sure that she gets it in the future. She's the only one who can stop those Angles."

"And where do I come into all this?"

"I need this message of mine to get onto those DVD's so that she can find them. Fancy starting a business, Billy?"

They'd finally reached a main road. Then it _really_ hit Billy Shipton. He was, in actual fact, in 1969. He watched openmouthed as the strange cars whizzed past, people in clothing he'd seen his fathering wearing during his college years… he felt the Doctor's hand on his shoulder. "How about I treat you to your first lunch in 1969? Wudda say?"

DWDWDWDW

An hour later, in a café, Billy knew what he had to do. It didn't mean that he liked it any better. The Doctor sat across from him, sipping his tea and looking out the window. "When can I give Sally the message, Doctor?"

The Doctor looked at him. "On the day you die."

Billy gulped. "And when will that be?"

"The same day you met her. You have until the rain stops." The Doctor said in a very sober tone. That was about all he could tell Billy, because that was about all _he_ knew. Sally had written what Billy had said word for word. "That's all I can tell you."

"How do you know this?" Billy had a pleading look in his eyes. The Doctor sighed. "I just told you all I could. Just… trust me on this."

"Couldn't I try to go looking---" he was cut off mid-sentence by the Doctor raising his hand. "No. Do _not_ go looking for Sally Sparrow anytime before you meet. It could punch a hole in the fabric of the entire universe. And you really don't want that to happen."

The young man sighed in defeat. "I was going to call her tonight. Take her out for a drink…"

The Doctor said nothing. He simply watched Billy's face. "I have no family left." He said suddenly, looking up at the Doctor. "My father was all I had left and he died three years ago. I was looking forward to spending some time with Sally; she seemed to like me right off the bat. You know what I'm saying?"

The Doctor nodded slowly. "She's a smart girl." Was all he could think to say.

"I really liked her. Have you ever had that feeling? Where you meet someone and you just know, _right off_, that they're absolutely fantastic?"

The Doctor took his last gulp of tea quickly. "Here," he said handing Billy a paper bag. "There is some 1969 clothing and some instructions on where to go to find your new job. Good luck, Billy Shipton." He stood up, shook his hand and turned to leave. "Thank you Doctor."

"Don't thank me. But a word of advice, Billy," The Doctor said kindly. "You have one lifetime. Just one. Don't waist it thinking about what you could've had. The year is 1969, the year of love as they call it. Find yourself someone. Life, for you, is short."

And with that, The Doctor left.

DWDWDWDW

The Doctor sighed and placed himself on the only couch in the small apartment. It had been a long two weeks. But luckily he had known what it was he had to do. And now that he'd done it all it was only a matter of time before Sally and Larry (who had supposedly helped according to what Sally had written) were finally able to send the Tardis back to him.

He trusted them, after seeing them in the street together. It wasn't until Sally slowly held Larry's hand that the Doctor felt completely sure that she was being honest with what she had been telling him. Because to the Doctor, holding someone's hand could mean so much… it can symbolize, trust, hope and love. And if anyone knew that, it was him. He breathed loudly and brushed his hands together, trying to rid them of the small itch that he would get when they would feel… empty.

His thoughts were cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out quickly and answered.

"Yes Martha?" he said, sitting up. Martha's voice was hushed.

"I was just wondering, what do we have to do now? You already wrote the message on the wall; you made the tape and talked to Billy. Is there anything else we need to do?"

"No, just have to wait. Although, I am going to see if I can find a weak space for the Tardis to come through…"

"Come through?"

"Yes. She'll end up here in Norway but I'd rather the Tardis find a weak point in space for her to land. I'm sure there's one here somewhere, if I find it I'll head over today and I'll leave you a note. All right?"

"Ok, Doctor. I've got to go now, some customers just walked in and I'm on duty. Bye!"

"Goodbye, Martha." The Doctor smiled. Martha had come a long way indeed. She was absolutely furious when she first got her job…

_"Well, I got the blasted job!" Martha huffed, arms crossed._

_"Ooh, good!" the Doctor said. His eyes were fixed on the machine he was working on but felt the angry ripples bouncing off his back. "What's the problem?"_

_"The problem," she said in a matter-of-factly tone. "Is that I, am training to be a Doctor! And now I'm stuck in 1969 as a shop girl! A shop girl!"_

_The Doctor furrowed his eyebrows and sat back in his seat with his arms crossed and a look that could rival the one she was wearing. "So you're upset because you're a shop girl? What's wrong with being a shop girl?"_

_Martha dropped her arms to her sides and gave him an incredulous glare. "A Shop girl," she stated. "Is someone who's too lazy to go and get a degree or do something better with their lives other than wake up in the morning, go to work as a shop girl, go home, watch the telly and go to bed. It's just a useless vicious cycle!"_

_As soon as she'd paused for breath Martha knew she'd said something wrong. The Doctor's jaw muscles tightened and he was glaring at her. But when he spoke his voice was deadly calm. "First of all, it's only temporary. Second and more importantly, shop girls are, for all you know wonderful and fantastic people full of untapped potential. They're just waiting for someone or something to just…" He was talking a little quicker now and making his hyperactive hand motions. "To just help shake them out of their stupor and make them realize just how great they really are!"_

_He stopped suddenly. He was standing and his hands had formed into tight fists. And Martha was gazing at him but not with fear, but a kind of sadness. "Sorry," she whispered and left. They never spoke about it again. _

The Doctor shook himself mentally. Yes, Martha was doing well and appeared to have formed a kind of fondness to working as a shop girl. The Doctor walked into the bare kitchen and opened some of the empty drawers, looking for the map Martha had insisted they buy once they realized what had happened to them. The Doctor had refused to make the apartment look more 'livable' but not for the reasons that Martha had suspected. She thought he was pining over the loss of the Tardis although he had made clear that he wasn't,

_"You make it sound like it isn't the first time you've been without it." She'd said. _

_"Well, it's not really." He answered thoughtfully. "Although… last time I thought it was forever. At least this time I don't have to worry about her. I know it's only short-term."_

_"What made you think it was forever last time?"_

_"Weeell, black hole, evil beast lurking and that kind of thing." He quickly busied himself with securing the door locks with the sonic screwdriver. Last time… last time, had been one of the most frighteningly fantastic crisis's he'd ever been through. It was the only time he'd allowed himself even the smallest thoughts on living a life, one with carpets, doors, mortgage …and Rose. He didn't allow himself to even tip-toe around those thoughts now. Because it was only a half life in comparison to what it might have been before…_

"Ah!" The Doctor pulled out the map and laid it out of the kitchen counter. "Let's see where our little weak spot it shall we?" He scanned over the map tapping at random spots as he went. Then he saw it… his widened. He drew a circle around the location, wrote a note to Martha and left it the counter beside the map. The Doctor quickly gathered up what little he had around the apartment and left to catch a cab without giving a backwards glance.

DWDWDW

Martha opened the apartment door and stepped inside. "Doctor!" she called, "You won't _believe_ how good sales were today… Doctor?" Martha noticed the note on the counter and read it: "Martha, I think I found our weak spot. I've circled it on the map, call a taxi and meet me there as soon as you can. Bring lunch. –Doctor"

Martha looked at the circled location on the map

___Dårlig ulv stranden"_

**Author's note: Ok, I hope you guys liked the first chapter. This story can be considered a prequel to my first fic '2012'. I wanted to give a special thanks to ****'Emela', my first ever reviewer! Some of you guys really made me smile! I wasn't expecting so many reviews for my first story!**** A small note to ****blvdgirl****' I was glad that you share my views on Martha. I don't hate her, I really don't blame her for anything. But I do feel sorry for her. But I miss Rose A LOT!! **


	2. Dårlig ulv

**Disclaimer: Since Jack is going to be in Utopia he said that he needed his buttock back. sigh so I'm pretty poor at the moment. And yes I used the phrase 'Time after time' from the song. Oooh! But I do own the six nice reviews from the first chapter! Yay me!**

The Doctor sat on back seat of the rickety old cab as it drove down a bumpy dirt road. At the corner of his eye, he noticed the driver glancing at him every few minutes. The Doctor placed his hand in his pocked and grasped the sonic screwdriver… as though for some kind of comfort. It didn't help much.

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and watched the landscape outside the window change. Less houses, more sand and dry looking plantation.

"Five more minute." The driver said thickly. The Doctor merely nodded and drummed his fingers together in his lap. He was feeling anxious, and there was no place to bounce about to rid himself of it. So he waited.

"Here." The driver said suddenly as the car stopped with a jerk. The Doctor handed him his money and got out. "I wait for you?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I'm getting a lift later, thank you though." The driver nodded at him and backed up his car slowly then drove off. The Doctor took a deep breath and turned around. He was still on a bit of a cliff, the beach was farther down. He gave himself a minute before walking down the sandy hill.

The view was breathtaking.

It wasn't the same beach of course, he mused. The one that was thirty eight years into the future and in another world all together was bit cleaner. The waters had appeared to be deeper there too. And this beach seemed bigger, less… intimate. But the rest looked like the beach he'd know for few minutes. Too few.

The tide was low, so there were small pools of water along the beach. It was windy, very much like… well, colder though. The sky was grey but it wasn't going to rain, he could tell that much. The Doctor walked slowly up the beach and stood on a large stone and removed his glasses. And instead of wrapping his coat tighter around himself, he took it off and held it between his crossed arms. There was something comforting about letting the bitterly cold winds whip across his face through his hair. He allowed a smile to creep across his face as he watched the waves roll lazily onto the shore.

He couldn't help but wonder… if the same spot where he was standing was being stood upon by someone else, in another world, would he get that same feeling he'd had when he'd pressed his cheek against that blasted wall? He stepped down and sat on the huge rock. He liked to think that she was happy now. In a world where Torchwood was good, where she was doing a job that could take her mind off things and…where she was with her family, whole and complete. But he'd hoped for the same thing when he'd sent her home the first time, away from the Daleks. And she hadn't been happy. She'd fought her way back and saved his life, again. So maybe she wasn't as happy as he'd like to believe, but he'd probably never know… and that hurt him more than anything.

Was he pining? Yes. Was it uncalled for? No. Was it unfair to Martha and any other companion he may have in the future? Probably. Did he regret his moments of remembering Rose? Never. The Doctor let his mind creep back to what he'd said to Billy earlier that same day…

_"You have one lifetime. Just one. Don't waist it thinking about what you could've had. Find yourself someone. Life, for you, is short."_

Yes, life for Billy was short, which is why he shouldn't waist it. The Doctor, on the other hand, still had two more miserable, lonely regenerations to go through. But this regeneration, this body, was for Rose. She had been the first to see it, the first to accept it and the first to fall in love with it. It was this set of eyes that had seen her for last time, had watched her cry and smile. This body was for her, his _'Rose regeneration'_, he should call it; she would've laughed at that. And he would allow himself to mourn for her properly as long as he had it… _because he loved her_, he thought with a sad smile.

And he knew because that heart of his on the left beat for her. After all, the witch who tried to daunt him with Rose's name had been able to stop _his_ heart… but not the other one. That heart was fighter and would beat stronger than all his other nineteen hearts put together.

DWDWDWDWDWDW

"Doctor! Doctor, where are you?"

The Doctor sat up and looked around. Martha was standing on the sand cliff and looking for him. "Over here!" he called. She saw him and smiled.

Martha made her was over to where he was sitting and handed him a large bag. "Food," she said happily and began unpacking it and setting it out in the firm sand. "Oooh, lovely." The Doctor said as he helped open the cartons. "Well you brought quite a feast, didn't you Martha?"

Martha smiled. "I like you're picnic spot, it's gorgeous." She said, observing the coastline. "What make's you think that this is the weak spot?"

"Dårlig ulv stranden" he said, smiling. "Bad wolf bay."

"And…?" she was obviously waiting for the techno-talk to come in somewhere.

"Weeell, Bad Wolf. It's kind of important to me and the Tardis." He wasn't looking at her anymore.

"What's it mean? The Bad guys are out to get you or something?"

"Naaah, nothing like that. It's kind of a message; I suppose you could say, to me." He took a bite out of the sandwich that she had handed him and continued to speak with his mouth full. "Nothing to worry about really, the point is that the Tardis will land here. I'm sure of it."

They continued to eat in silence and watch the water level rise slowly. Martha suddenly pulled out a small clear, plastic-covered package. "Dessert!" she announced happily. The Doctor looked at her hand as she presented him with cake. He felt his breath catch in his throat.

"What? Don't you like it?" Martha asked, her head tilted slightly. "They're edible."

The Doctor nodded, "Yeh, I know… but I actually, um, I'm not a huge fan of ball bearing cakes. I haven't really been able to eat them for a while now…"

Martha looked disappointed. "Oh, I thought you would've liked them. It's ok, doesn't matter. I have more stuff… banana cake?"

The Doctor smiled at her, "Now we're talking!" Just as he took the cake from her hands the sound of the Tardis fabricating her way to them made its way to his ears. The Doctor grinned. "Good old Sally Sparrow! C'mon, we'll finish it up inside, it's a bit cold out here."

They packed up the food and walked towards the Tardis, which was standing tall only a few feet away. Once Martha had stepped inside the Doctor turned around and smiled at the cold beach and whispered.

"Jeg elsker deg, min Dårlig ulv" then stepped inside. His words were instantly translated by the Tardis, but it didn't matter, because the wind merely carried them around for a while then let them dissolve into the waters below, nevertheless the Doctor still hoped that the words would somehow find a way of reaching her, preferably from his own lips, and not as an image. But for now he would satisfy himself by saying them to the memory that kept him fighting time after time…

"I love you my bad wolf."

**Author's: I'm actually not as happy with that as I'd hoped I would be, I wrote the ending about six times…buuuut, oh wellI hope you guys liked it. Emela and Cute Gallifreyan, my two lovely and loyal reviewers! And I noticed a lot of people put me on story update alert! I'm honored! Truly. For those of you who want a (sorta' kinda') sequel, can read my story 2012. I ended it intentionally with them landing in Cardiff so that I can tie it into Utopia. And there had BETTER be some mention of Rose in that episode or so help me…. I'll storm the set myself! eye-twitch of insanity **

**Still, please let me know what you guys think, my ego is running a little low on this chapter.**


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